I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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