Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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