You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
