You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
