apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize