Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
