do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
