It's Friday. Sex?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
