You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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