i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
