Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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