How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
