Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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