nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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