dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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