i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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