is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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