you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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