She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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