threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
