Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
