North Korea, Best Korea!
Where is the hickey?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
