he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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