he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
