You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
