I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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