Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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