Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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