to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
