Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
