a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
