she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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