I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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