He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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