Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize