can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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