i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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