im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
