Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
