If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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