ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
