I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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