well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
