I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
