Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
