i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
