do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize