im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
