just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
