this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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