that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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