His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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