My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
