I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize