Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
