I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
